


over and over (and over again)

by stardazed_daydreams



Category: HLVRAI - Fandom, Half Life VR But The AI Is Self-Aware
Genre: ...... sort of, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Alternate Universe - Not A Game, Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Alternate Universe- No Black Mesa, Blood and Injury, Car Accidents, Carnival, Cupid - Freeform, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, First Dates, First Kiss, Fluff and Humor, Getting Together, Gordon Freeman Has Anxiety, Half-Life VR But the AI is Self-Aware, Holding Hands, I don't plan on there being angst but. yknow that might change, Innuendo, Internalized Homophobia, Jealousy, Kissing, Light Angst, Love Confessions, M/M, Meet-Cute, Nonbinary Benrey (Half-Life), Potions, Sort Of, Stabbing, Stuffed Toys, Time Loop, brief scene w gordons ex, forzen is not a soldier, gordon dies, how do i say this, lots of times., no beta reader we die like men, so uhhh dw hsdfjkls, they/himrey, uh. hm, yeah i caved to my angsty ways
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-13
Updated: 2020-07-30
Packaged: 2021-03-05 01:41:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 4
Words: 9,502
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25256344
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/stardazed_daydreams/pseuds/stardazed_daydreams
Summary: If Gordon's life was a movie, it'd be a goddamn comedy.He comes to this realization on a Saturday morning, standing in the 7/11 in his sweatpants as he stares down the hot stranger, holding a red bull in one hand and the other still holding open the cooler.Why?Because this shit is nothing short of fucking ridiculous, and somebody had better be laughing.(a formal apology to regular half-life fans, I hope they separate the tags soon)
Relationships: Benrey & Tommy Coolatta, Benrey/Gordon Freeman, Dr. Coomer & Gordon Freeman, Past Benrey/Forzen (Half-Life)
Comments: 86
Kudos: 357





	1. Chapter 1

Gordon Freeman wakes up at exactly 10:00am, glares at his clock, and buries his face back in his pillows. 

When he finally drags himself out of bed and into the kitchen, it’s only to discover that his fridge and cupboards are woefully empty. 

“Great start to the day already,” he grumbles, slamming the fridge door shut, and makes the executive decision to go out just like this. He pulls on his sneakers and walks out the front door to his apartment, phone shoved in his pocket. 

It’s a short walk to the 7/11- shopping for the week is for Later Gordon. Now Gordon just wants some damn caffeine, and maybe something to stop his growling stomach.

It’s a short enough walk, just a block away, and Gordon makes it comfortably, glancing both ways before stepping into the crosswalk and--

WHAM!

Gordon flips over the hood of the car, landing on his back on the asphalt with a sickening  _ crack _ . The car screeches to a halt and the driver hops out, yelling before he’s even all the way out. “LOOK WHAT YOU DID TO MY FUCKING CAR, ASSHOLE!” He screams, pointing at something Gordon can’t see. 

Pain pounds through Gordon’s skull, and his vision tunnels, darkness rapidly closing in. 

_ Don’t pass out _ , he thinks wildly just before it all goes dark. 

. . . 

He opens his eyes in his own bed. 

“... What?” He mumbles, sitting up and blinking at his alarm clock. 

10:00am. 

“Weird dream,” he says, throwing back the covers and slipping out of bed.

His day only gets stronger as he goes through the exact same motions, hesitating while crossing the street. 

Sure enough, the car from his dream whizzes by at way-too-many miles per hour, and the same man leans out the window, flipping Gordon off, shouting “WATCH WHERE YOU’RE GOING YOU DUMB FUCK!” before screeching out of sight. 

Classy. 

Gordon rolls his eyes and brushes the incident from his mind despite the nagging worries plaguing him. He pushes into the 7/11, and, surprisingly, recognizes the first person he sees. 

“Oh, hey Dr. Coomer,” he says, shuffling his feet in embarrassment as he realizes Dr. Coomer is in his pristine work uniform. “How’s it going?”

“Ah! Hello, Gordon!” Dr. Coomer beams, gripping his styrofoam cup of coffee a little too tightly. “Another day, another dollar, am I right?” 

“Yeah,” Gordon agrees, despite the fact that he had Saturdays off. “I’ll see you at work tomorrow.” 

Dr. Coomer’s grin, as always, never falters. “See you tomorrow, Gordon!” He lifts his cup and strolls out of the store, humming merrily. 

Gordon rubs the back of his neck, thoroughly unnerved in the way most interactions with Dr. Coomer leaves him. He grabs a package of doughnuts and walks to the back of the store to the wall of refrigerators, pulling one open and bending to grab a drink from the bottom shelf.

Someone bumps into his side. “Shit, sorry,” they say, “didn’t see you.”

Gordon straightens, makes eye contact with the offending stranger, and feels his heart drop like a stone to his feet.

Because of fucking  _ course _ the person staring back has to be hot. 

Granted, Gordon has very little to be embarrassed about- in his oversized hoodie and gray sweatpants, they’re practically matching. 

The stranger raises a single eyebrow. “Yo,” he says. 

Gordon, somehow, manages to be embarrassed anyway. “Hey,” he says, heat crawling up his chest and flushing his face. 

Their eyes flick down to the red bull in Gordon’s head. “That shit’ll rot your brain,” they say, then pop open the fridge and pull out a 2-liter mountain dew, twisting open the cap and taking a swig. 

Gordon is immediately annoyed. “What the hell, you can’t just  _ do _ that.” 

They lift a shoulder. “Sure I can,” he says, “I’m going to buy it anyway. Plus Tommy and I are cool.” He twists to look over his shoulder at the cashier, lifting two fingers in a wave.

The cashier returns it enthusiastically, pushing up onto his toes and waving wildly.

Gordon looks from the cashier- Tommy?- to the person in front of him and sighs. “Fine. Whatever.” He turns away, determined to put the whole day and the weird dream behind him for good, when the person speaks again. 

“Do I… um. Do I know you?” They ask, shuffling their feet. “I feel like I’ve, uhm… I’ve seen you around or something before.”

Gordon squints at him, slowly shaking his head. “... no,” he says. “I don’t think so.” 

The man’s face twists, and he takes a step back. “Uhhhh yeah you’re right, it’s whatever. Well, see you around, bro.” They turn on their heel, pausing on their way out to push a five on the counter at Tommy, muttering ‘keep the change’. The bell to the front door clangs cheerily as it clicks shut.

“Wow,” Tommy says, turning to Gordon, “you must’ve really made them upset! Benrey’s never that quiet!” 

“Benrey,” Gordon mouths, the name tugging insistently in the back of his mind. He frowns, shaking his head to clear it. “Just this,” he says, sliding the food and red bull across the counter. 

Tommy rings him up. “Yknow, soda is much better for you,” he says. “You should try Sunkist! It’s my favorite flavor!”

“Sunkist isn’t a flavor,” Gordon corrects, “it’s a-”  _ brand _ . The word dies on his tongue as the cashier’s megawatt smile dims. “Uh… forget it.” 

He beams again, handing Gordon his change. “Have a good day, sir!” He says brightly.

“You too,” Gordon says, taking his plastic bag in one hand and walking out the door.

“Benrey,” he mumbles under his breath as he crosses the street. “Benrey, Benrey, Benrey…” 

“You called?” A voice says in his ear, and Gordon reels back with a shout of surprise as a very-much-not-there person makes himself known next to Gordon. The bag hits the ground as Gordon’s arms pinwheel helplessly. Benrey reaches out, concern in his eyes, and a sharp pain cracks across the back of his head, filling his vision with white--

And Gordon sits up in bed, gasping for breath. 

He blinks, disoriented, at his alarm clock, disbelief growing when 10:00am blinks back at him in neon green print.

“ _ What the fuck. _ ”


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Gordon makes a little progress.

Because he doesn’t know what else to do, he goes to 7/11. He (again) narrowly avoids being hit and (again) runs into Dr. Coomer at the door and very nearly bumps into Benrey again.

Unlike anyone else, Benrey is a complete anomaly. Instead of accidentally bumping into him, when Gordon turns, Benrey’s just standing there, a little too close to comfort. Gordon practically jumps out of his skin. “Oh, holy shit, warn a guy,” Gordon swears, taking a step back, and because he doesn’t know what else to say: “uh… hey.”

Benrey frowns at him under their shaggy bangs, gaze pinning Gordon in place. “sorry about this,” he says, sliding a knife out of their sleeve and stabbing Gordon in the throat. 

“Oh no, why’d you do that?” Rings through Gordon’s ears as he sits up in bed.

Hopelessly, he glances at his clock. 

10:00am. 

He flips over in bed, buries his face in his pillow, and screams for a long time.

Finally, he gets up, deciding to ruminate over all of this in a scalding shower.

Clearly, he thinks as he scrubs the suds through his hair, Benrey is involved in all of this. They had recognized him, they were the only thing that changed, and they’d  _ apologized _ before stabbing Gordon, almost like- 

Almost like they  _ knew he would come back _ . 

_ Well, _ Gordon thinks, tipping his head back to let the warm water rinse the soap from his hair,  _ I guess I’m going back to 7/11. _ It’s the only place he knows where to start looking for Benrey, and he has to find them if he has any hope of figuring out what the  _ hell _ has been going on the past few- could he even call them days? It was still Saturday, after all… 

Gordon shakes the thought away, taking the time to actually get dressed before heading out the door this time.

The deviation in his schedule is enough that this time when he crosses the street, there’s no car in sight- and when he walks into the 7/11, the only person he immediately sees is Tommy, who beams at him. 

“W-Welcome in, sir!” Tommy says, and Gordon acknowledges him with a little awkward wave, beelining for the back of the store.

Sure enough, leaning against the door of the fridge where the red bulls are kept is Benrey, still wearing the same outfit he’d been the last two times Gordon had seen them- sweatpants, a sweater with the PS3 logo on the front, and a gray beanie pulled over his messy hair- looking down at their phone, tapping away and seemingly uninterested. 

“took you long enough, bro,” they comment without looking up, obnoxiously popping their gum.

“What the hell is going on?” Gordon demands.

They lift a single eyebrow. That dry, skeptical look was really starting to piss Gordon off. “damn straight to business huh. not even gonna try to warm me up a little. ‘oh hey dude how was your day’. oh you know, pretty tight. except i’d like it if i could, like, get all the way through without it resetting, that’d be cool.” He finally turns his gaze up towards Gordon, but his thumbs continue tapping away. “you must be gordon.” 

“... How do you know my name?” Gordon asks, squinting suspiciously.

They shrug, looking back down at their phone. “i have my ways, bro. a magician never reveals their- their secrets, man.” 

“Well, I am. Dr. Gordon Freeman,” Gordon says.

“tight,” they say. “benrey.” they still don’t look up from their phone. Frustrated, and acting more than a little bit on ‘dad impulse’, Gordon snatches it from their hands.

“yo give that back,” he says, frowning, but makes no real move to take it. “that’s- that’s theft, bro, that’s illegal, im going to have to call the cops.”

Well, in for a penny, in for a pound. “No,” Gordon says. “What the hell is going on here?” 

“Is there, um- is there a problem?” Tommy pipes up from behind the counter, shifting nervously as his gaze shifts from the phone in Gordon’s hands to Benrey. “.. um, sir?” 

Gordon has enough time to think  _ shit, maybe we shouldn’t talk about this here, _ before Benrey pipes up, swiping the phone back from gordon and- thankfully- pocketing it. “nah bro we’re all good,” he says, popping his gum again. “just, yknow, stuck in a time loop. you know how it goes.” 

Tommy just nods sagely. “Um- okay then, good luck! But if you aren’t going to buy anything then I’m- I’m going to have to ask you to leave.”

“cool.” they meander towards the front of the store. “yo you coming feetman or what.” 

“Do  _ not _ call me that,” Gordon protests.

“huh?” Benrey blinks.

“Do  _ not _ call me fucking- feetman or whatever the hell you just said.” 

“wha?” 

“Oh my- fuck, fine,” Gordon says, dragging his palm down his face. 

“huh? bro are you coming or not.”

“I’m fucking- fine, I’m coming,” Gordon says, following after them.

“nice,” he says, pushing out the front door. “yo so like that first day. lil’ baby bitch didn’t even uhhhh show up. got his ass handed to him by uhhhhh a lil’ baby car. what’s up with that.”

Gordon frowns at him, irritation flaring up. “How the fuck am I supposed to know?” He asks defensively. “I just got run over when crossing the street, dude, it happens like, all the time.”

“hm. maybe to you,” he says. He lifts a finger. “and the second day you fell and knocked yourself out on the concrete,” he says, lifting up a second finger. “aaand yesterday i stabbed you.” 

“Yeah, thanks for that,” Gordon grouses.

Benrey steadfastly ignores him. “whiiiich leaves today. uhhhh that’s four. four whole saturdays in a row.”

Gordon runs his hands through his hair. “Fuck. What does this mean?” he asks.

Benrey grins, slow and unsteadily. It’s, quite possibly, the creepiest fucking thing Gordon has ever seen, surpassing Dr. Coomer’s eerie blankness with ease. “it means,” he says, “nothing we do matters.”

...

This sentence equates, apparently, with the current situation Gordon found himself in.

“What the fuck,” he says, for practically the umpteenth time in a row. 

“huh? wha?” Benrey asks, turning his eerie yellow eyes towards Gordon. 

“You could do anything in the world with no consequences… and you choose this?” Gordon asks, turning his disbelieving eyes to the wall of stuffed animals before them. 

They were standing in the middle of a carnival, in front of one of those games where you shoot plastic balls at little cutouts, winning stuffed animals if you’re able to knock them over. This one is garden-themed, cutouts of rabbits and flowers weaving in and out between hedges.

“yeah duh what’d you expect bro. robbery? that shit’s illegal, man. not cool,” benrey chides as they slide their card to the likely severely underpaid carnival employee who was clearly not listening to a word either of them were saying. “think of it like this bro- we can rack up all the debt we want, the charges’ll just be cleared tomorrow.”

“These things are so rigged,” Gordon protests, “you’re never gonna win anything.”

“what you dont believe in me? im wounded bro. i cant believe this man i thought we were friends. i thought you were cool but i guess not youre just a mean man. meany pants. gordon meanman.” 

“Okay, okay, I get it, I’ll shut up,” Gordon groans, wondering not for the first time why he even bothered hanging around Benrey. Maybe it was because he was the last person on earth that wouldn’t forget everything when the day decided to reset, or maybe it was because Gordon found his act kind of funny and a little endearing. 

_ Definitely the first thing _ , Gordon thinks, shaking his head with an edge of panic. He’s so distracted by the thought that when he focuses on Benrey again, he’s managed to knock over the little cardboard bunny and is making grabby hands at one of the stuffed animals. 

The worker, rolling her eyes, gets it down for them. “Nice job,” she says flatly, and goes back to what she was reading.

Benrey turns to Gordon, clutching the teddy bear to his chest with shining eyes. “told you bro,” he says, and Gordon’s heart does something funny, his face heating up.

_ Okay, that’s kind of cute _ , he admits, and is immediately overwhelmed, looking anywhere but at Benrey. “Uh, anything else you want to do while we’re here?” Gordon asks.

“yooooooooooo cotton candy,” Benrey says in lieu of a response, taking off in the direction of a food cart. Gordon has a feeling giving him sugar would be an incredibly terrible idea, but it’s not like he can stop them- he sighs, trailing after them. “gimme gimme gimme- yessssss,” they say as the worker leans out of the window, handing him a plastic bag full of pink cotton candy. “hold this,” they say, thrusting the bear at Gordon and tearing open the bag to pop a large chunk of it in their mouth, sticking out their tongue and crossing their eyes to watch it dissolve into pink nothingness. 

“You’re such a child,” Gordon says. Benrey ignores him, his eyes landing on a duck pond game and immediately lighting up. He takes off in that direction, shoveling more cotton candy in his mouth, and Gordon sighs again, looking down at the teddy bear in his hands. Benrey makes quick work of this game, too, whooping and bouncing on his toes as the man running it hands him a small minion plushie. 

“tommy’s gonna love this, bro, minions are his favorite,” Benrey gushes, stacking the minion on top of the teddy bear. 

“I’m not your personal carrier, man,” Gordon complains.

“huh?” Benrey asks, then responds before Gordon can repeat himself. “of course you arent bro i just dont want to get sticky cotton candy all over my stuffed animals man is that so hard to believe. jeez.” As if to prove his point, he sticks another large blob of cotton candy in his mouth, smacking his lips obnoxiously. 

“Have you ever heard of portion control?” Gordon asks, but they’re already taking off in another direction.  _ This is gonna be a long day,  _ he thinks with yet another sigh, trudging after him.

. . . 

“We’re going to die. You’re  _ trying  _ to kill me,” Gordon announces. 

“calm down bro haha what are you a pussy? lil’ dr. pussy nerd bitch?” Benrey looks back at him with a shit-eating grin, his unnaturally sharp teeth throwing Gordon for a loop.

“I’m not a bitch, I’m just-” Gordon cuts off as the roller coaster slowly inches forward, whirring mechanical noises growing steadily louder as it picks up speed. “Oh shit, oh fuck, I’m going to fucking die--” He cuts himself off with a scream as they plummet down a drop. He isn’t the only one screaming, thankfully, but Benrey is cackling, throwing their arms up in the air with a whoop even as the ground comes ever closer.

Gordon squeezes his eyes shut, but they zoom back up just fine, and a little bit of the anxiety dies down just in time for him to realize- “oh, shit, fuck, nope, no way,” he says, squirming in his seat as they begin climbing up a loop. 

Benrey laughs. “calm down bro, it’s fine,” he says, turning his head to look at him. To Gordon’s great surprise, he makes a high-pitched note and a stream of- balls?- comes out of his mouth and into Gordon’s. They taste like blue raspberry, and the tight knot of anxiety in his chest loosens. 

“What the fuck was that?” Gordon asks. 

“calm down,” Benrey says with a shrug, lifting his hand to keep his beanie on his head as the roller coaster fips them completely upside down. 

To Gordon’s great horror, it pauses for a second before zooming down the other side. “Fuck!” He screeches, and Benrey laughs at him all over again.

...

They’re sitting on the Ferris wheel, staring up at the glittering sky as the sun dips below the horizon. Benrey is kicking his legs, causing the seat to swing back-and-forth ever so slightly, and Gordon grips the railing with painfully white knuckles, having given up pleading with them to stop.

“Do you think maybe it won’t reset this time?” Gordon asks, turning away from the sky to look at Benrey. “You know, since I haven’t died or anything yet?”

“wha? oh. maybe? there’s still time though, bro, don’t jinx it,” Benrey says, elbowing him in the side. As if on cue, the seat swings dangerously in the wind again. Gordon swears and grips tighter onto the railing, resolutely  _ not _ looking down. He wasn’t afraid of heights, really, but considering the past few ways his days have ended he wouldn’t put it past his shitty, shitty luck for THIS to be the time the ferris wheel snaps and sends the both of them barrelling towards the ground. “who knows bro, maybe this doesnt even have anything to do with you, maybe its all about ME. ever think of that huh feetman?”

Gordon shrugs, ignoring the nickname. “I mean, maybe it has something to do with both of us,” he says. 

They sit there in silence as the Ferris Wheel passes the highest point, speaking up only when it stalls again. “I should get your number,” Gordon says. “Y’know, so we don’t have to meet up at 7/11 again, or whatever.” 

“yeah sure bro,” Benrey says, and then rattles his number off at the speed of light.

“Woah, woah, slow down,” Gordon says, laughing, “wait until I have a pen or something, damn.”

“youre the one who asked man,” Benrey says, but remains silent for the remainder of the ferris wheel ride. 

When they hop off, Gordon scoops up all the stuffed toys Benrey won through the day and holds still when Benrey scrawls his number in permanent marker on his arm.

For a moment, both of them just stand there, staring at each other. 

Benrey looks… kind of cute, like this, Gordon thinks. The multicolored lights of the carnival make him glow in an almost ethereal way, and the way he’s framed against the glittering night sky makes Gordon's breath catch in his throat. He could- he could almost- 

“Hey, we’re closing up,” the ferris wheel attendant says, and Gordon practically jumps out of his skin. 

“Oh, sorry, yeah, we’re leaving,” Gordon says. His arms are too full to grab Benrey, but he jerks his head towards the exit and hopes they’ll follow. Thankfully, they do, without much protest- they stick their (now bright pink) tongue out at the worker, but Gordon will take what he can get.

They took Gordon’s car to get here, so Gordon dumps all of the stuffed animals in the back while Benrey hops in the passenger seat. He slips into the front and starts the car, pausing to frown at Benrey. “Uh… what now?” He asks.

Benrey shrugs. “uhhhh gonna drop me off at home? gotta go uhhhhhhh get me home safe yknow, like a- a true gentleman.”

Something twinges in Gordon’s chest. It feels… weird, to just send Benrey home and what- go to sleep? Knowing he’s just gonna wake up in his bed on Saturday morning all over again? But he just nods, pulling out of the parking lot while Benrey plugs his address into Gordon’s phone.

The drive is silent. Eerily so, and it’s not a really comfortable silence, either. When Gordon pulls into the parking lot of an unfamiliar parking complex, Benrey pauses, not getting out. 

“See you tomorrow,” Gordon says.

“uhhh yeah. see you bro.” And just like that, he’s gone, leaving nothing but the faint smell of cotton candy behind.

Gordon sighs, tilting his head back against the headrest and closing his eyes. 

He takes a deep breath, opens his eyes--

And thuds back down on his bed, covering his face with both hands. 

_ Fucking great. _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hello once again please kudos or comment if you enjoyed!! im thinking this will probably have two or three more chapters? it's not going to be super long (I don't think) but uhhh yeah, three sounds about right!


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *slides in a week later with a chapter that's almost as long as the other two combined* hey.

Gordon pulls up the sleeve of his shirt, breathing a sigh of relief when Benrey’s number is still there. He picks up his phone and enters it under a new contact, then promptly agonizes over what to text for several long minutes. 

[Gordon]: _Hey. It’s Gordon._

[Benrey]: _yo_

Neither of them respond for several long minutes. 

[Gordon]: _So what do we do?_

[Benrey]: _wdym_

[Gordon]: _About the time loop._

[Benrey]: _idk, man…_

Gordon sighs, screwing his eyes shut and dropping the phone on his chest. He wasn’t sure what he expected- a plan? _Oh I’ve been secretly able to fix everything this whole time?_ Part of him _hoped_ Benrey would be able to do something Gordon couldn’t- after all, with shark-like teeth, mysterious yellow eyes, and the ability to manipulate emotion with weird singing, Benrey was already capable of much more than Gordon would ever be able to do.

His phone vibrates, and he picks it back up to peer tiredly at the screen. 

[Benrey]: _hold on, i have an idea._

… 

“When you said ‘I know a guy’, this isn’t really what I was thinking,” Gordon says. 

Benrey frowns up at him. “wha? huh? why not?” they ask.

Gordon gestures vaguely in the direction of the man in front of him. “... Potions? Really?”

The man in question frowns. “Hey! I can hear you, you know,” he says. 

“Sorry,” Gordon says, unapologetically. 

Benrey shrugs. “what i said i knew a guy not that you'd like him. idiot.” he scoffs. Gordon pinches the bridge of his nose and inhales sharply, beating back the oncoming headache with a large, imaginary stick. How he _ever_ got along with this guy he’ll never understand. 

“Fucking hell,” he mutters, then louder, “what is this potion supposed to do again?” 

The man- _Darnold,_ Gordon reminds himself- glares a little as he pulls the suspiciously large soup thermos from his messenger bag. “I _said_ ,” he huffs, “this potion should help you with the time loop by- theoretically- helping you come into contact with the person or thing that’s causing it. Now, this could take all day to come into effect- when the reset happens is when you’ll be most likely to catch it. So… uh, stick together. And don’t fall asleep until you’re ready.”

Benrey and Gordon exchange a glance. Gordon crinkles his nose, but nods. “Fine,” he says. “So we- we both have to drink it?”

“You both have to drink it,” he confirms. “It’s very simple just life the thermos to your lips and suck. It’s kind of- goopy, so you’ll have to suck pretty hard to get it out. And, uh, only drink half.” 

“It’s _goopy_?” Gordon echoes, kind of horrified.

“haha don’t worry, gordon can suck,” Benrey says at the same time. Gordon chokes on air and glares at them. They wink, and he wonders if _Benrey_ would respawn if Gordon strangled him to death.

“Good,” Darnold, seemingly oblivious. “Okay, here it is- now- go!” 

He’s right- the potion is goopy, and it tastes objectively… terrible. Gordon drinks until it feels light enough and hands it over to Benrey, wiping his mouth with the back of his hand as he does. “Blegh.”

Benrey seems to have no such qualms- he downs it in three seconds flat, and Gordon blinks as he sees a flash of their tongue as they scrape the rest of the potion from the sides of the thermos. Benrey smacks his lips, cackles, and hands it back to Darnold. “nice,” they say.

To his credit, Darnold seems kind of disturbed as he screws the lid back on. “Uh… okay. That’s it. I’d say let me know if it works but I, uh…. would probably know just by… remembering that this happened.”

Benrey shrugs, and Gordon nods. 

“Great,” Darnold says. He packs up his potions and leaves, muttering to himself the whole time.

… 

Step, step, step, turn.

Step, step, step, turn.

Benrey watches Gordon pace across the room from their seat on his kitchen counter, kicking their feet and bumping against the counters. 

Gordon’s hands are tangled in his hair, and he exhales sharply through his nose. 

Step, step, step, turn.

“What do we do?” Gordon blurts, stopping to stare at Benrey. 

Benrey looks a little startled. “huh? oh.” He glances around Gordon’s living room, looking a little baffled when he doesn’t see whatever he’s looking for. “uhhhhhhhhhhhh i dunno bro you wanna uhhh go out? get some food maybe? get some food with your friend benrey?” 

Gordon stares. “What, just… go out? Treat it like a normal day?” 

“yeah bro. unless you wanna just sit here all day like uhh like a loser. whatre you lame dude? gonna make your guest just sit around all day? booo.”

Gordon huffs out an incredulous laugh. “You know what? Sure. Let’s- yeah, fine. Let’s go.”

Benrey grins, all sharp teeth. “sick, lets goooo.”

Gordon mentally resigns himself to being fucking annoyed all day as he fixes his ponytail, watching Benrey jump off his counter and run over to the door, bouncing on his toes.

“cmon cmon cmooooon,” Benrey complains as Gordon pulls on a jacket and shoes, “move fasterrrrrrrrrr uuuuuuuuuuuuughhhhh.”

Gordon rolls his eyes at them, picking up his keys and pulling the door open for them. “Let’s go,” he says, and thrives a little bit in the way Benrey’s eyes light up. 

…

They’re… holding hands.

They aren’t _holding hands_ holding hands- like, in that way- it’s less “tender romance” and “the most convenient way Benrey can drag Gordon around without resorting to blatant violence” but… Benrey’s hand is still in his, their fingers tangled and palms pressed together, and it's... nice. _Yeah,_ Gordon thinks. _Nice._

Benrey tugs him along insistently, peering into diners and restaurants and dismissing them with apparent ease, muttering something under his breath that Gordon can’t quite catch. 

He’s not exactly… a sight, traditionally speaking- he’s wearing a chullo, solid grey sweater and dark blue jeans- nothing special, really, but Gordon is staring anyway, entranced. Benrey twists to look over his shoulder at Gordon, and his mouth hangs open a little as they make eye contact. Neither of them say anything as Benrey’s cheeks tint blue and Gordon tears his eyes away, fixing his eyes on the sidewalk instead.

They come to a halt, and Benrey speaks up. “please can we eat here please? i mean if you still wanna eat haha.”

Gordon looks up and over at the door. It’s a small, local diner, and Gordon doesn’t recognize the name. 

They’re still holding hands. 

Gordon remembers that he’s supposed to answer the question. “.. yeah, sure,” he says. He gives Benrey’s hand a little squeeze and smiles. “Let’s eat.”

“haha sick,” Benrey says, then drops Gordon’s hand to open the door. 

It’s quaint. Small, not too crowded, clean but not _sterile-_ it feels comfortable, and the smell of coffee and roasting bacon is a welcome one. They seat themselves at a booth near a window, and Gordon watches Benrey watch the people passing by as they wait. The paint on their table is peeling slightly, and Gordon resists the urge to pick it off. He shifts in his seat, a little uncomfortable, and opens his mouth, but ultimately closes it, content to just watch.

“Hello my name is Forzen and I’ll be serving you today,” a voice says, and Gordon jumps, turning to look at the voice in question. 

They’re not in any sort of recognizable uniform, and if it hadn’t been for the greeting and the two menus slammed on their table, Gordon never would have guessed in one million years that this man was a waiter. He’s wearing a beret, a black shirt tucked into camo pants, and his arms are crossed across his chest. “Would you like any drinks?” 

“yeah some drinks would be good some uhhhhhhh water please? water? two waters?” Benrey asks.

The man- Forzen?- nods once, turns on his heel, and marches away.

“Forzen?” Gordon echoes quietly. He wants to reach across the booth and grab Benrey’s hand again, but he feels like that would be… too much. Too soon. He barely knows Benrey, he barely _likes_ Benrey, he reminds himself as they stare at him blankly.

“wha? huh?” They blink a few times. “oh yeah forzen and i are great friends always… playing beyblade with tommy, he’s a great cool.” 

“What- Tommy? Like the cashier?” 

“yeah duh freeman who else. idiot.” 

They’re certainly making it easy to remember why he doesn’t like them, Gordon thinks, glaring. He grips his thigh under the table and exhales harshly through his nose. _C’mon, Gordon. Last man on earth, you can put up with him._

Forzen returns with two waters. He sets them down, about-faces, and walks off stiffly, without a word to either of them. Gordon blinks, but the interruption is a welcome break in his rising irritation. He picks up the menu and surveys the options, nose wrinkling as he eyeballs the prices. 

“yo. feetman.” 

“Don’t call me that-”

“you got cash?” 

Gordon blinks. “I mean, yeah, I have my wallet,” he says. 

“cool. you paying, or are we gonna dine and ditch because i didn’t bring my wallet dude.” Benrey hasn’t even picked up his menu, using his straw to swirl the ice cubes around in the water, clinking against the glass. 

“I-- Of course I’ll pay, what kind of question-” Gordon cuts himself off with a groan, propping his elbows on the table and burying his face in his hands. 

“wow elbows on the table huh gordos that's pretty rude of you man, your mom ever teach you manners or what.” Gordon’s head snaps back up and he glares at Benrey- if looks could kill, Benrey would’ve been dead five times over. Unfortunately, they cannot, and Benrey just gives him their best shit-eating grin, fluttering his eyelashes innocently. “you made up your mind about food feetman or am i gonna starve to death while you decide.” 

“You haven’t even _looked_ at your menu, dude,” Gordon bitches, but he goes back to looking over the meals. 

“yeah thats because ive been here before dude forzen and i are like BEST friends bro cmon i told you this keep up,” Benrey says all in one breath. “i already know what im gonna get because ive BEEN here before, idiot.”

Gordon is considering the merits of lunging across the booth and throttling Benrey when Forzen returns, this time with a notepad in hand. “Are you ready to order sirs?” He asks, his unimpressed gaze fixed steadily on Gordon. 

“Yeah, I’ll have the um, eggs and bacon,” Gordon says. 

“Do you want the toast or hashbrowns with that?” Forzen asks, writing. 

“Uh, hashbrowns, please.” Forzen nods once and looks to Benrey, raising an eyebrow.

“yesss can i get the double chocolate chip pancakes puhhhh-lease,” Benrey says, wiggling a little in his seat. 

Forzen nods. “That’ll be right out.” He writes down Benrey’s order, too, and fixes another deeply unimpressed glare on Gordon before leaving again.

“What was that about?” Gordon wonders aloud, side-eyeing Benrey’s smirk. Realization dawns on him, and his jaw drops a little. “.. no, you didn’t.” 

Benrey inspects his sharp nails, infuriatingly smug. “i dunno what you’re talking about,” he says. “you’re uhhh gonna have to explain what you mean bro.”

“You _did not_ bring me here to make your ex jealous!” Gordon hisses, digging his fingers into the surface of the table. 

Benrey’s sharp teeth flash for a moment as his smirk grows into a full-out grin. “i dunno what you’re talking about,” he repeats, and Gordon kind of wants to put his fist through a wall. 

“Oh my God,” Gordon groans, threading his fingers in his hair and thumping his forehead on the table. “This can’t be real.”

“wha- bro, i don’t even know what you’re talking about,” Benrey says. 

Gordon bangs his forehead on the table again, embarrassment rendering him completely unable to speak. Is that why they were acting so- coupley, earlier? Was Benrey, fucking- warming him up, maybe? Setting the tone, so when they arrived in the diner it would look like they were actually a couple? Gordon doesn’t know how to feel about that. He cycles through disgust, being offended, and anxiety before deciding that he doesn’t care. It’s not like he likes Benrey, anyway. Yeah. Okay. Get it together Gordon, jesus. 

He lifts his head from the table and goes back to his new favorite pastime: glaring at Benrey. They seem completely oblivious, knocking back their cup of water and- Jesus- crunching loudly on the ice without a care in the world. 

Gordon feels the familiar urge to lecture broiling up, and he opens his mouth just in time for Forzen to return, setting down the two plates of food in front of them. Gordon glances from Forzen’s death glare to Benrey’s pleading expression, and shuts his mouth. 

“Can I get you anything else?” Forzen asks.

Benrey reaches across the table and grabs Gordon’s hand, grinning the whole time. “no that’s all thanks,” he says, and Forzen’s eye twitches, glancing over at Gordon.

Gordon shakes his head, and Forzen stomps off. Gordon can practically _see_ the steam coming off his head like a cartoon, and the second he’s out of earshot Benrey lets go, cackling wildly. 

“thanks bro, i owe you one,” he says with a wink, picking up their fork to shovel a frankly obscene amount of pancake into his mouth. 

Gordon rolls his eyes and pretends that his heart isn’t fluttering as he picks up his fork and answers Benrey’s incessant questions about his personal life.

…

After their brunch date- er, uh, platonic friend hang out (nice save, Gordon)- Benrey drags Gordon into a GameStop and refuses to leave until Gordon buys a ps3 and two games he absolutely does not have the budget for, but- hey, whatever. 

“can't BELIEVE you dont have playstation bro i thought you said you LIKED video games thought you wanted to be a STREAMER bro,” Benrey gripes at him, rattling the gumball machine to make the gumball fall out faster. 

“I mean, I always thought it was sort of a- pipe dream, you know? Never really thought I could, uh. _Do_ anything about it. Yknow?” Gordon shifts the plastic bag in his arms, watching Benrey shove the gumball into his mouth. 

“no bro that’s lame,” he says, smacking the gum obnoxiously. They push open the door and gesture for Gordon to go first. “cant believe youd let something as dumb as a phd keep you from being a gamer. stupid.” The door rings cheerfully as it closes behind them. 

“Well, I also had, like, a son, bro,” Gordon protests. “Well, I mean _have_ a son, but he’s older now.”

“i have a son,” benrey mocks. “boooo. coward. we’re gonna get you uhhh famous dude.” 

Gordon rolls his eyes. “Sure.” The wind picks up as they walk, and he pulls his jacket a little tighter. “Well, I’ve got to drop this stuff back at home, do you want to stay there after or go somewhere else?” 

“might as well stay, bro, i gotta kick your ass at _Heavenly Sword._ ” Benrey blows a comically large bubble with his gum and pops it. 

Gordon’s 80% sure if he keeps rolling his eyes they’re going to get stuck. He bumps Benrey with his shoulder, laughing a little, and smiles the rest of the walk back home.

… 

The rest of the day is indeed spent inside, Gordon routinely getting his ass handed to him and complaining with little bite. They run to the 7/11 (making SURE to look both ways) and pick up snacks- chips and popcorn and- in Benrey’s words- “gamer fuel”, and that covers both lunch and dinner just fine. Gordon spends approximately 20 minutes trying to land chips in Benreys’ mouth, somehow missing every time and _not_ beating Benrey up when they laugh at him. Gordon laughs so hard he chokes when Benrey shotguns a can of Monster Energy Drink and Benrey tosses the can at him, griping loudly. 

The hours slip by, and by the time 11pm rolls around, they’re out of snacks, laying on the floor in Gordon’s living room and staring at the ceiling. 

Gordon sits up to stare at the clock hanging on his wall. 

11:55pm. 

He sighs, looking down at Benrey, who’s still laying on the floor, singing some- as he called it- Sweet Voice quietly. They sit there in silence for several long moments until Benrey sits up too, the last of his Sweet Voice fading. He looks almost sad, bathed in the electric glow of Gordon’s T.V., and suddenly the silence becomes unbearable. 

“What do you think is going to happen?” Gordon asks. 

Benrey shrugs, tucking their feet under himself. “... i don’t know.” 

Gordon glances at the clock. 

11:59pm. 

His breath catches in his throat, and he takes a few steadying breaths, squeezing his eyes shut. 

Something nudges at Gordon’s hand, and slowly, he twines his fingers with Benrey’s, heart leaping in his throat as he stares resolutely at the clock. 

_This is fine_ , he thinks wildly. Benrey squeezes his hand, gently, and Gordon squeezes back.

The clock ticks over to midnight.

Gordon absolutely does not close his eyes.

A moment passes. Then another. 

Slowly, the world looks almost as if it’s warping, everything gaining a dark blue tent and blurring, and suddenly there’s a man in front of them that definitely wasn’t before, his arms crossed and eyebrows raised.

“Now what do we have here, hm?” He drawls, and Gordon decides then and there that he hates this man. The nerves that have been growing all day stretch, and like an overused rubber band, snap into anger.

“What the hell is going on?” Gordon snipes, and the man hums thoughtfully. 

“Is it not… obvious, Dr. Freeman? I have taken the liberty of… trapping you on this particular saturday with… Mr… Benrey, here.” Gordon risks a glance at Benrey, who is uncharacteristically… quiet. They look down at their hands, then back up to the stranger, but still don’t say anything, bottom lip caught between his teeth.

“Okay, but _why_?” Gordon presses, because he’s never been the kind to give up before finding all the answers. “I mean, it’s not like we’ve done anything worth cosmic punishment- or I mean- I haven’t,” he says, glancing over at Benrey again, “and I don’t think they have, either, so like- what fucking gives, man?”

The man tilts his head, making even eye contact with Gordon. “Have you ever heard of the concept of soulmates, Dr. Freeman?” He asks, his voice flat. 

“Yeah, what’s your fucking point?” Gordon’s mouth moves faster than his brain, and the second the words are out in the open, it clicks. He withdraws his hand from Benrey’s on instinct, and their face twists. “Wha- _soulmates_?” He asks, staring at Benrey incredulously. 

Immediately, the part of his mind that will probably always be dedicated to denying his attraction to men starts kicking a fit. _What-no-that’s-impossible-im-straight_ gets through on instinct, rapidly followed by _they aren’t even_ **_human_ ** _,_ followed again by _I don’t even like him as like, a friend!_ All with varying degrees of merit.

He smirks. “Yes, Dr. Freeman… Benrey here is your soulmate… you were.. made for each other, hm?” The stranger looks incredibly smug. “It’s my job as your- ah, matchmaker- to ensure you end up… together.” 

“what like cupid? lmao thats pretty gay,” benrey pipes up, folding his arms across his chest. “gotta- uhhhhh gotta be honest, i dont really see how feetman and i here could be uhhhh soulmates, bro. he’s kind of cringe, ngl.”

Gordon is immediately irrationally angry. “What does that even _mean_ ?” he asks, twisting to look at them. “What- how is- I don’t even-” Benrey cackles at him as he splutters for a few more moments before giving up on the sentence entirely. “I don’t know how I ever get _along_ with you,” he groans, burying his face in his hands.

“And yet you do, Dr. Freeman,” the matchmaker says, and Gordon pauses, lifting his face to look at Benrey, who resolutely avoids his gaze, the tips of his ears flushed. “And yet you do.” After a beat, he continues speaking. “Since my work clearly isn’t done here, I’m afraid I have no choice but to restart again, hm?” 

“Wait-” Gordon says, reaching for Benrey, but as his fingertips graze their arm, he’s launched backwards, and as his heads hit the pillows on his bed everything warps back to normal. 

...

It’s 10am.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> okay there's only one chapter left after this!! i might write an epilogue too but that's still up in the air so as of right now,,,,, just the one chapter left. hope you enjoyed!!
> 
> Edit: HELLO WAS NOBODY GONNA TELL ME ONE OF BENREY’S LINES STILL SAID “PS3 GAME HERE”????
> 
> Edit 2: YOU CAN ONLY READ YOUR OWN WRITING SO MANY TIMES BEFORE YOU JUST START SKIPPING OVER SHIT SORRY GANG HOPE THAT'S EVERYTHING


	4. Chapter 4

Gordon spends entirely too much time wallowing in self-pity, laying in his bed and staring at the ceiling when what he  _ should _ be doing is getting off his ass and texting Benrey. Or doing something ridiculously rom-comy like showing up at their apartment with a bunch of roses.

… Benrey probably doesn’t even  _ like _ roses, what is he  _ thinking.  _ Fucking- stupid. Gordon covers his face with his hands and groans. He’s fucking- god, he’ll admit it: he’s fucking guilty as hell. He rolls over in bed to press his face into a pillow, groaning louder. He is, quite possibly, the biggest piece of shit who’s ever existed. 

He gets up and turns the shower to scalding, because technically it’s been a few days, and wastes another half an hour hating himself while it burns off what feels like the top ten layers of his skin. He emerges only when he’s scrubbed enough that it starts to sting, throws on some clothes, and stares at his phone

_ I’m sorry _ right off the bat was weird, right?   
_ Hey _ nope nope nope.

_ So we’re soulmates  _ Jesus Christ, Gordon, get it together.

[Benrey]:  _ yo you know i can see when you’re typing right. _

… Fuck. Gordon’s face goes bright red, and his thumb freezes in the middle of erasing his last message. Sure enough, the little typing bubble pops up with Benrey’s profile picture next to it, and he kind of feels like an idiot while he waits with bated breath.

[Benrey]:  _ lmao lil feetman too scared to send a message. cringe _

[Gordon]:  _ Oh my God, I can’t even fucking apologize without you pulling this shit. _

[Benrey]:  _ apologize? for what lol _

[Gordon]: _ …  _

[Gordon]:  _ Do you want to come over? _

[Benrey]:  _ yea sure why not lol _

Gordon squeezes his eyes shut and turns off his phone, heard thundering as he prepares to sit there and wait, but to his surprise, Benrey just sort of- appears. It’s kind of messy, the lower half of his body clipping out of his front door, and definitely terrifying. Gordon leaps to his feet, swearing, while Benrey, muttering under their breath, pulls himself out of the door, stumbling slightly. 

They pull his hat back down by the strings and brush nonexistent dust off the front of their shitty sweater, throwing a peace sign up. “what’s up gamer lol.”

“Jesus fucking- holy shit, what the fuck, you can’t just- what the fuck  _ was _ that, dude?” Gordon says, pocketing his phone and trying to calm his racing heart. His face is definitely still bright red. Fuck. 

“huh wha,” Benrey says, completely deadpan, and Gordon can already tell he’s not gonna win this battle. 

“I- yeah, okay, whatever, fuck. Just give a guy some warning next time, okay? Jeez.” Gordon exhales sharply, pinching the bridge of his nose to fend off the upcoming frustration headache.

“wha? huh?” Benrey blinks at him like he’s an idiot, and Gordon gives up. 

“Nevermind, man, just.... Uh.” Gordon fidgets, twisting his hands together. “I’m, uh, sorry?” 

“haha, um,” Benrey avoids his gaze, picking at their hangnails. “for what dude lmao we’re chill.” 

“For, uh, implying that you would be a bad soulmate? I guess? Or that, um, I wouldn’t date you?” Gordon laughs nervously, rubbing the back of his neck and staring at the ground. “I just, uh..” he licks his lips and casts a nervous glance back up at Benrey, who is still decidedly avoiding his gaze. “Lashed out? I guess? Um.” He blows out a nervous breath. “Yeah.” He looks back up at Benrey, who stares at his feet, still picking at their hands. 

They swallow, shoving his hands in their sweater pocket. “haha, so what, you would date me?” 

The tension in the room is thick enough to cut. Electricity crackles on Gordon’s skin. His mouth is so, so dry. He swallows, taking a deep breath, and nods.

Benrey’s blushing, his gaze still directed at the wall next to him. Gordon’s heart feels like it’s going to pound out of his chest. Jesus. “... haha gayass,” Benrey says, finally looking up at Gordon to flash him a shit-eating grin.

… God. It’s a joke. 

It’s always been a fucking joke with Benrey, hasn’t it? The whole time- holding his hand, taking them to the carnival, the fucking brunch date- it was all just some bullshit to fuck with Gordon, getting their rocks off by yanking him around. Fuck. 

He’s so fucking angry.

Something in his chest twists and snaps, and he sees red. “Do you think this is funny? What the FUCK is your problem?” Gordon snaps.

Benrey blinks in surprise, recoiling, then snarls, fists balling at his sides. “what’s the fuck is MY problem? what the fuck is YOUR problem!” they shout back. “i’ve never done anything to you!” 

“Never done- buddy, my life is all  _ fucked up _ and the reason is because the universe or whatever decided we were  _ made for eachother _ or some bullshit like that. It’s because of  _ you _ ! Because you are the  _ most infuriating person  _ I have  _ ever _ met!” 

Benrey gets up in his personal space, thumping their finger on his chest. “bro it’s not  _ my _ fault you have a stick so far up your ass you don’t know what fun even  _ looks _ like anymore,” he says, “and it’s not  _ my _ fault you’re so emotionally constipated that the idea of a commited relationship makes you lose your fucking marbles.”

Gordon sputters. It stings, hitting right where it hurts. “Don’t- don’t fucking touch me, man!” He takes two steps back, but Benrey follows him, their claw-like nail digging into the fabric of his shirt. 

“it’s not my fucking fault mommy didn’t hug you enough,”  _ thunk _ , “it’s not my fault you’re scared of the big bad gay,”  _ thunk _ , “it’s not  _ my _ fault that-”

“FUCKING SHUT UP!” Gordon shoves him by the shoulders, hard, and Benrey barely shifts. “I fucking  _ know _ , okay?” His voice cracks painfully on the last word, and he cringes. Fuck, is he crying? When did he start crying? Benrey’s furious expression drops, and Gordon backs up until he hits the wall, frantically wiping the tears away. 

“... gordon?” Benrey takes a hesitant step forward, his hands hovering. 

“I’m sorry,” Gordon gasps, a sob tearing itself from his lips. “I’m sorry, I’m all fucked up, I’m sorry.” 

“uh- hey, hey, you’re not- you’re not fucked up, gordon,” Benrey says. Slowly, he walks forward, awkwardly holding his arms up in a clear invitation. 

Gordon crumples. He falls into Benrey’s open arms, tucking his face into their shoulder and just- letting it all go. All the stress that’s been winding him up, the frustration building over the past week of Saturdays, it all comes crashing down. 

“uh- it’s okay, bro, i got you,” Benrey says, squeezing Gordon closer. “i got you, it’s okay.”

Gordon doesn’t know how long he sits there, crying into Benrey’s sweater while they rub soothing circles in his back, but it’s… a long time. When he finally lifts his head, wiping his face, their shoulder is soaked through with tears. “... Sorry,” he says, sniffling. 

“don’t- uh, don’t apologize, bro,” Benrey says, lifting a hand to cup Gordon’s face, wiping away a few tray tears from under his eye. They stare. Benrey keeps his hand there. The electric energy is back, and Gordon swallows. 

“... I’m kind of fucked up right now, huh.” Gordon laughs wetly, biting back the impulse to apologize again. He’s sure he looks anything but attractive- puffy eyes, snot nose, the whole shebang. 

“happens to the best of us bro, no biggie,” Benrey says, shrugging. His thumb moves in soothing back-and-forth motions, and Gordon leans in, letting his eyes flutter closed. They sit there in silence for a few moments, the only sound their breathing. When Gordon flutters his eyes open, Benrey’s blushing again, lips slightly parted. Gordon’s eyebrows wrinkle in confusion as Benrey turns his head, spitting a stream of pink Sweet Voice. 

“Pink? What does that mean?” Gordon asks. 

“blush,” Benrey corrects on automatic, then flushes even more blue. “its- uh, nothing, bro.” 

“You said they rhyme, right?” Gordon presses, and Benrey finally removes his hand from Gordon’s face to cover his own.

“so dumb, should never have told you that, stupid,” Benrey mumbles, more Sweet Voice spilling out from between his fingers. “fuck.” 

“Blush?” Gordon pauses, thinking it over. “... crush?” He guesses, smiling smugly when it causes more Sweet Voice to spill out from between Benrey’s fingers. 

“bro. bro what the fuuuuuck that’s fucking gay,” Benrey gripes, and Gordon realizes something. 

“Is this just how you react to being  _ embarrassed _ ?” Gordon asks.

Benrey peeks at him through his fingers. “huh wha.”

“Oh my God, it is!” Gordon exclaims, reaching forward and grasping Benrey’s wrists to tug their hands away from his face. Benrey avoids his gaze, still blushing furiously with his lips stained blush. “That explains so much, fucking- God.” He laughs, leaning in and pulling Benrey back into a hug. They linger like that only for a moment before pulling back. 

“... so soulmates, huh.” 

Gordon laughs, and Benrey lights up a little, slipping his hand into Gordon’s real subtle-like. Gordon hesitates for a second before leaning in and resting his forehead against theirs. 

“I.. I think I really like you, man,” Gordon says. 

Benrey sighs, a little shivery. His breath puffs against Gordon’s face. “... yeah? gonna, uh, do anything about that?” 

In lieu of a response, Gordon leans in, pressing his lips to Benrey’s. 

It’s… soft. Surprisingly so. Gordon makes a soft noise and Benrey’s hands come up to tangle in Gordon’s hair, tugging him down a little so Benrey can reach him better. 

When they finally separate with a soft  _ smack _ , Benrey grips the front of Gordon’s shirt. “you, uhhh, finally good to admit we’re soulmates, bro?”

“Yeah,” Gordon says, rolling his eyes. “... want to get lunch?” 

Benrey thinks about it for a second. “you, uh. mind staying in, bro?”

Gordon nods. “Yeah. You like mac n’ cheese?” 

“fuuuuck yeah, bro,” Benrey says, “mac time.”

When the time comes, Gordon doesn’t even have to ask Benrey to stay the night. Benrey climbs in after him and wraps their arms around his waist, pushing their face on his back and sighing contentedly. 

They wake up, tangled together in Gordon’s sheets, on Sunday morning.

* * *

“C’mon, we’ve got to pick up Joshua,” Gordon calls, pulling on his jacket. Benrey, sitting on the couch, groans loudly, pausing his PS3 game. 

“ugggggghhhh,” they say, slamming their head against the back of the couch. “i dont see why i have to coooooooooome.” 

“Because,” Gordon says diplomatically, “Emily wants to meet you, and I think she has a right to, since you’re going to be helping raise her son.” 

Benrey flushes a little. “i mean when you put it that way,” he says, getting to their feet and shoving his hands in their sweater pocket. 

...Gordon’s not an idiot. He knows this all looks really fast to Emily: within a month of meeting Benrey they’ve already moved in together and she was frankly a little suspicious. Benrey hadn’t met Joshua yet- weird work hours combined with nerves meant Gordon’s weeks in the past had meant no visits- but now Benrey had moved in, and there was no avoiding it.

They look down at the sweater he’s wearing- Gordon’s MIT sweater, actually- and fiddle with a loose string. “... d’ya think they’ll like me?” he asks.

“Stop that, you’re gonna ruin the sweater,” Gordon chides, pulling their hand away and lacing their fingers together. “I think they’re gonna love you.” He smiles warmly. 

Benrey’s blush spreads, the tips of their ears dark blue. “... sick. uh, poggers.” He nudges Gordon with his shoulder, tilting their head towards the door. “Let’s go.”

Gordon’s smile widens, and he pulls open the door. The drive isn’t long, but it certainly  _ feels _ like a while- Benrey bounces his leg the whole time, and Gordon occasionally gives their hand a reassuring squeeze that earns him a brilliant smile every time. 

Standing in front of Emily’s door, Gordon lifts their entwined hand and presses a kiss to the back of Benrey’s, smiling over at them. “You’ve got this,” he says, and Benrey nods. 

Gordon drops his hand to knock, and soon enough Emily throws it open, smiling brightly. “Gordon, Benrey, come in!” She steps out of their way and Gordon hears squealing followed by rapid little footsteps.

“DADDY!” Joshua screeches, throwing himself around the corner and making grabby hands. “Up up up!” 

Gordon laughs, picking the four-year-old up and tossing him in the air a few times before settling him on his hip. “Hiya, Joshie, you have a fun time with mom?” 

“Yes!” Joshua says, wiggling happily. “I painted and played with Chrissy and watched tv and..” he keeps babbling, and Gordon nods along, making occasional affirming noises while watching Emily and Benrey from the corner of his eye.

“It’s nice to meet you, Benrey,” Emily says, leaning on her counter. “Gordon really likes you, huh?” 

“oh. yeah. i guess,” Benrey says, blushing again, and Emily laughs. 

Gordon’s distracted from their conversation by Josh insistently tugging on his sleeve. “What’s up, Joshie?” 

“Who is that?” He asks, pointing at Benrey. 

“That’s Benrey,” Gordon says. “He’s, um.. Well, they’re like Kyle.” Emily’s new husband. Gordon isn’t sure Joshua gets what he means, but the kid nods sagely. 

“Benny! So he lives with us now?” Joshua asks.

“that’s right lil’ dude,” Benrey says, suddenly right next to them, and Gordon jumps. “gonna uhhhh have to tell me all about yourself lil’ bro, gotta have some bonding time.” He wiggles his finger at Josh, and Josh grips his finger. Benrey’s eyes widen in surprise. 

Joshua wiggles some more. “Yay!” He reaches for Benrey, who looks at Gordon with a little bit of panic. 

‘It’s fine,’ Gordon mouths, and hands the kid over. He immediately starts rambling again, and Benrey watches him, nodding every so often. 

“He’s a nice guy,” Emily says, and Gordon jumps again. She laughs at him, and he scowls. “... I like them.” 

Gordon smiles. “Thanks, Emily. I’m glad.” 

Emily smiles back at him. “I’ll go get Josh’s bags.” 

Gordon waits patiently for her to get back. Then, once he’s done buckling Joshua into the back of his car, he climbs into the front seat. 

And he drives his family home.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> here it is, the final chapter, posted at fuckall at night! pls inform me of typos i dont have a beta reader fjskgl
> 
> instead of adding it as a separate chapter I decided to add the epilogue scene I was thinking of at the end of this one so there ya go !!
> 
> also i have a (16+) [discord server](https://discord.gg/3skJjYp) for hlvrai if you wanna join!! I might fuck around and uhhhh write another soulmate au dhfskjf lmk if there's anything else you want me to write in the comments or on my tumblr!

**Author's Note:**

> hello hlvrai community. if you liked this please leave a kudos or a comment and check out my [tumblr](https://gamer-feetman-official.tumblr.com/), I also do art.


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